Seven ways of managing sibling rivalry

I have been brought up in a family that suffered sibling rivalry. By family I mean the extended one such as aunt, uncle and cousins. Lately, one of my favourite aunts and uncle called a meeting for the youngsters in our family. It was an opening up moment when she gave us fundamental details in dealing with family relationships.

"It is a painful path to take to live in conflict with our very own blood."" she revealed.

Another of my favourite aunt and uncle again (I have learnt that all of them are my favourites). Well, I ain't bragging but my whole of family is awesome. She also had met us as the youngsters in our family and she emphasized on the same.

I have also learnt much from living with my brothers and sisters in the same house in the absence of our parents during our middle age years.

Below are some of the lessons I managed to squeeze out.

photo courtesy

1. Love people for who they are

Oftenly, we think that similar background should bore almost same character and worldview. Contrary, to this popular belief you must learn that people will always be unique from others. I mean even twins got different fingerprints, so, just appreciate differences and love people for who they are not who you perceive or desire them to be.

2. Allow people to Evolve

Precisely allow people to change as years fade away. Allow yourself to let other people grow up just like you have. This is very common in first borns. No offence! Please be informed that growth comes with maturity mostly. Please just treat people like adults always.

3. Respect people

I know at time we are quick to judge people and we start labeling them. Consequently, we end up valuing them with a tag like commodities. Those that have expensive tags are respected and those with cheap ones earn no or least respect. Well, truth be said, respect is two way traffic. People will react to how you treat them.

4. Observe courtesy in all situations

As a family you will always experience friction at times. Yes, it isn't abnormal because that is so human. You do not have to allow the worst of situations bring out the worst of you. Self control is a virtue. This applies to good situations too.

5. Use polite language to express your feeling

It is polite to use respectable languages. Words such as Thankyou, welcome and excuse me are a must have. By the way it is honourable to use polite language and very effective too.

6. Be a solution oriented person

This is most applicable during conflicts. Families experience different conflicts and at different levels. Be a solution during such times. At such a time you may be needed not to reveal what you know or vice versa. Selective hearing and talking is very helpful attribute. It is much helpful when these solutions are lasting, Fyi! Yes, that is the power of words.

7. Be a source of encouragement

Finally, I had to add this one. Some of us are great when it comes to self destruction. Some people do not understand the essence of self love. It is too bad since in the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. In your great energy you go poisoning people's morale. It isn't right rather you should appreciate other people and inspire them. It is also advisable to cultivate self love in yourself and refrain from self destruction.

This list has space available. so, feel free to add, share and enjoy!

Rosemary..

 

 CAMPUS LIFE

 Joining campus is the dream of every candidate who is preparing for the Kenya Certificate Secondary Examination. It feels like a dream a step away from reality. One creates imagination of what to experience from other people’s perception told to them. A person wonders if ever the joy of being in camps will last forever. 

Personally, I was very excited to join the University of Nairobi to study what I enjoy. Back then was an awesome feeling being new when everyone articulated their genuine kindness. Naively, one would think people are always nice in Campus. At the end of the first semester I found some friends who we shared most qualities. We developed our friendships from group work assigned by lecturers and common sitting partners every time we had a lecture. We enjoyed having lunch together and discussing our examination together.  

The problem with the information I had about Campus was that it was too moisturized. Never once did anyone mention about the overwhelming life of Campus. All of them told me how amusing Campus would be and it would be the best part of my life. Actually, I felt that the people who inform people about Campus life somewhat give misleading information.

Of course it’s amusing to be in Campus and experience Campus life. However it is the most critical part of your life. You either get much of it or the least of it. Many young people in Campus live life like it’s a one- day- event. This is the reason why almost the entire Kenyan population believes that Campus student are ill-mannered and socially rotten. 

This is not the case for all Campus students. Some are self -directed individuals who can be looked up to. Just like any other educational institution, in Campus you find both focused students and mediocre students. The only difference that arises is; in Campus only adults are admitted. This is why there are minimal rules to be followed as the administration treats the students as adults. Therefore we have freedom to choose who we want to be!

LUCK IN MY GENDER

A woman is like a delicate rose flower growing in a garden. Every stage of the growth of a rose flower should be cultivated with care until maturity. A beautiful flower that is pleasant to the eye is the harvest of a tender cultivation. Like roses women are different in color, size and texture. The development of one stage is a stepping stone into another stage. Therefore we develop from one stage to another consecutively in a universal process. Common experiences and goals is our source of unity.

In Kenya, being a woman is peculiar. The great heat that has being exerted on gender equality is clearly articulated. Gone are the days when women were inferior and powerless. Harmful old cultures have been done away with in most parts of the country. The female gender is quickly evolving and taking its place in modernity. The girl child has many platforms where challenges facing their development holistically are tackled with efficient solutions.

Harsh religious practices have room for bargaining to facilitate equality between the male and female genders. People caught practicing whether by force or voluntary harsh cultural and religious practices on women face the law.

Kenyan women are exposed to a vulnerable environment to easy success. This is highly articulated in the major causes of success, economic empowerment and educational empowerment. Employers have been commanded by the state to obey the a third rule while awarding employment opportunities. Educational centers on the other hand have lower cutoff points for young women so as to facilitate a larger group to acquire a chance to learn.

This has gone deep even into marriage covenants. The government is yet to pass a bill of 50/50 acquired of property gained in a marriage relationship between the husband and wife. It has also articulated the need to marry a woman who a man lives with more than six month.

Generally, being a Kenyan woman is equivalent to luck; with all this favors enforced by, the government, the most powerful offices in the country. You just have to make the right choices to reach maturity easily without getting underwhelmed!